What's up with these thoughts I didn't notice before. They are like motivations for certain behaviors consistent with an idea 'who' or what kind of guy I am. I noticed that I sometimes look for a place to fall back on. Like an idea.
Actually that was me finally witnessing the mind entering the endless loop of solving the question "who am I" with finding the right behaviors to be consistent.
Its kind of crazy how the mind works to solve a question. The more important to question appears to be the harder the mind works to solve it.
Only when the mind it constantly working to solve this question it never ends the search. It is always pinging with the endlessly changing variables of every moment to "find its self" or more accurately find and ultimate answer to a totally confused question.