I just realized something. There never is a 'who' you are. It is always 'how' you are.
Because "how" you are is something that can be developed.
It can be changed.
But there is never ever ever a 'who'. Its just not possible.
Its like people get confused by creating a 'who' by looking at 'how' someone is. That is, creating a feeling or label based on patterns of behavior.
Patterns of behavior are 'how' a person is. There isn't any 'who'.. not in you, not in anyone.