Gorodeckyj

This is an old conversation I felt I might as well post here to have all the liberations done through Nick localized in one easy to find place. (I wonder if speaking in third person make Nick sound like a douche haha)

[1.6.2011 19:19:17] graffist448: graffist448 sdílí kontaktní údaje s Gorodeckyj.
[1.6.2011 20:20:29] Gorodeckyj: Hi
[1.6.2011 20:23:41] graffist448: hey there
[1.6.2011 20:23:51] graffist448: so you'd like to be enlightened?
[1.6.2011 20:23:54] graffist448: =)
[1.6.2011 20:23:56] Gorodeckyj: yes
[1.6.2011 20:23:59] Gorodeckyj: would love to
[1.6.2011 20:24:03] Gorodeckyj: 
[1.6.2011 20:24:06] graffist448: ok
[1.6.2011 20:24:23] graffist448: first thing is, whenever I ask you a question
[1.6.2011 20:24:45] graffist448: all that is required is for you to give as honest an answer as possible
[1.6.2011 20:24:48] graffist448: as in
[1.6.2011 20:24:48] Gorodeckyj: ok
[1.6.2011 20:24:57] graffist448: it has to be true
[1.6.2011 20:24:59] graffist448: as true as can be
[1.6.2011 20:25:03] Gorodeckyj: ok
[1.6.2011 20:25:05] Gorodeckyj: ready
[1.6.2011 20:25:08] Gorodeckyj: 
[1.6.2011 20:25:29] graffist448: also, if you don't know an answer its ok, just say so, and I'll let you know what to do from there
[1.6.2011 20:25:34] Gorodeckyj: my english is not perfect so sorry for some strange worlds
[1.6.2011 20:25:38] Gorodeckyj: words
[1.6.2011 20:25:39] Gorodeckyj: 
[1.6.2011 20:25:40] graffist448: its ok
[1.6.2011 20:25:46] graffist448: =)
[1.6.2011 20:26:03] Gorodeckyj: ok
[1.6.2011 20:26:11] graffist448: so, what influences emotions?
[1.6.2011 20:26:20] Gorodeckyj: situations
[1.6.2011 20:26:37] graffist448: give me as elaborate an answer as possible
[1.6.2011 20:26:58] Gorodeckyj: situations and the look they make me in eyes of others
[1.6.2011 20:27:17] Gorodeckyj: like if I look like fool for something someone says, I feel anger
[1.6.2011 20:27:26] graffist448: yea
[1.6.2011 20:27:40] Gorodeckyj: If I see girlfriend crying, I feel love
[1.6.2011 20:28:02] graffist448: ok cool
[1.6.2011 20:28:08] graffist448: excellent
[1.6.2011 20:28:14] graffist448: what influences thoughts?
[1.6.2011 20:29:45] Gorodeckyj: again situations; they start if I see something that reminds me something from past, something I remember, or are somewhat similar to something I know of seen
[1.6.2011 20:29:56] Gorodeckyj: or seen
[1.6.2011 20:29:58] graffist448: yea
[1.6.2011 20:30:01] graffist448: exactly
[1.6.2011 20:30:11] Gorodeckyj: It doesnt make sence way I describe it 
[1.6.2011 20:30:20] graffist448: it does
[1.6.2011 20:30:26] graffist448: your describing associations
[1.6.2011 20:30:32] Gorodeckyj: yes
[1.6.2011 20:30:35] graffist448: thats perfect
[1.6.2011 20:30:45] graffist448: what influences beliefs?
[1.6.2011 20:31:46] Gorodeckyj: beliefs of others, or something what happend, if that has no other explanation
[1.6.2011 20:31:58] graffist448: keep going
[1.6.2011 20:32:07] graffist448: take your time
[1.6.2011 20:32:17] graffist448: I've got plenty of time
[1.6.2011 20:34:25] Gorodeckyj: me influences beliefs - in the way I dont want ME to die, so I need to belief, there will be something after death of my body
[1.6.2011 20:35:22] graffist448: mhm
[1.6.2011 20:35:46] graffist448: where do beliefs come from sometimes?
[1.6.2011 20:37:02] Gorodeckyj: I am not sure. From mind?
[1.6.2011 20:38:16] graffist448: sort of
[1.6.2011 20:38:24] graffist448: where do we learn them from?
[1.6.2011 20:38:30] graffist448: and how do they change over time?
[1.6.2011 20:43:50] Gorodeckyj: Sometimes belief comes from actual situations in life. They change as we see they didnt work, we still actualize them so we can believe actual version. Everything what is seen as a lie is replaced with another belief.
[1.6.2011 20:44:25] graffist448: yeas
[1.6.2011 20:44:30] graffist448: excellent!
[1.6.2011 20:44:51] graffist448: What influences a self concept?
[1.6.2011 20:47:22] Gorodeckyj: What we want to look like to others, what we see as cool and decide we want to have it or be it to be that cool too. On the other way bad things that happend to us or are told to us. Like if somebody is told he is ugly, he think about self as ugly.
[1.6.2011 20:47:51] graffist448: yes
[1.6.2011 20:48:06] graffist448: you'r really looking hard and well
[1.6.2011 20:48:13] graffist448: this is excellent
[1.6.2011 20:48:18] graffist448: keep going
[1.6.2011 20:48:57] graffist448: keep describing a self concept, what influences it, what its made up of, how it changes throughout a persons life...etc
[1.6.2011 20:58:14] Gorodeckyj: it is influenced by almost everything, if you are good at work, you thinks about self as great worker and more selfconfident, if some food taste good to you, you are one who likes that. On one way it is made of thinks that makes you feel special agains others - like I am great quitar player, great at french, I am polite and nice to people and so on. On the other way you can be special in bad thinks too. Look at me how ill I am, look at me how miserable, sad or depressed I am. It is mostly made of experiences (both good and bad). As you grow older and get more experiences, you are getting more and more to concepts of your self.
[1.6.2011 20:58:57] graffist448: yes yes yes
[1.6.2011 20:59:02] graffist448: perfect!
[1.6.2011 20:59:07] graffist448: exactly
[1.6.2011 20:59:09] graffist448: ok
[1.6.2011 20:59:33] graffist448: so where does the self concept exist?
[1.6.2011 20:59:49] Gorodeckyj: only in your thoughts
[1.6.2011 20:59:54] graffist448: yes
[1.6.2011 21:00:00] graffist448: so who owns it?
[1.6.2011 21:03:08] graffist448: I have to go
[1.6.2011 21:03:11] graffist448: let me know if you get it
[1.6.2011 21:03:14] Gorodeckyj: ok
[1.6.2011 21:03:18] graffist448: =)
[1.6.2011 21:03:24] Gorodeckyj: thank you 
[1.6.2011 21:03:26] graffist448: remember
[1.6.2011 21:03:31] graffist448: is has to be absolutely true
[1.6.2011 21:03:35] graffist448: your welcome
[1.6.2011 21:04:02] Gorodeckyj: ok

[2.6.2011 7:46:49] Gorodeckyj: who owns self concept? Becouse it exist only in your thoughts and is still changing in time, its only ilusion, which nobody owns.
[2.6.2011 7:55:16] Gorodeckyj: I will be on skype in the evening, but I am still available at gorodeckyj@seznam.cz, if you like to post me question. Thank you very much, for what you are doing for me.
[2.6.2011 20:23:03] graffist448: so
[2.6.2011 20:23:09] graffist448: what did you see?
[2.6.2011 20:23:59] graffist448: ahh
[2.6.2011 20:24:07] graffist448: just read what you wrote when I left
[2.6.2011 20:24:24] graffist448: how has your perception changed before and after you saw that?
[2.6.2011 20:25:03] Gorodeckyj: sorry, just a minute, I will be right here
[2.6.2011 20:25:09] graffist448: ok
[2.6.2011 20:28:04] Gorodeckyj: ok I am here
[2.6.2011 20:28:06] Gorodeckyj: so...
[2.6.2011 20:30:55] Gorodeckyj: I watch my body doing thinks without me making decisions. When emotions arise, I "look" at it as an emotion and I am not very affected by that.
[2.6.2011 20:31:11] graffist448: mh
[2.6.2011 20:31:15] graffist448: what does "I" point to?
[2.6.2011 20:31:22] graffist448: what does that refer to?
[2.6.2011 20:31:31] graffist448: what exactly is "I"
[2.6.2011 20:31:31] Gorodeckyj: nothing real, only feeling
[2.6.2011 20:31:51] graffist448: dig deeper
[2.6.2011 20:36:11] Gorodeckyj: I is only fiction. But it is hard to not use I in language of thoughts, even when I look hard and see no I in me, I still think about me like I am real. Only when I look really hard, I see that ME or I to which thoughts refer is nowhere inside me. I know that feeling of me is fiction but I still feel it when I dont focus fully. Maybe becouse I am scared of death of the body and end of everything I experience now.
[2.6.2011 20:36:51] graffist448: keep going
[2.6.2011 20:36:55] graffist448: your getting closer
[2.6.2011 20:41:22] Gorodeckyj: I doesnt point to anything, there is my body - no there is only a body, there are my hands typing on keyboard, there are thoughts now about how to express and continue this sentence. There is breathing I am aware of all day - breathing without any relevance to me making decision of breath in or breath out. When I speak of being aware of breathing, I dont know who is aware of breathing, If I doesnt exist. There is only awareness of breathing probably.
[2.6.2011 20:42:02] graffist448: yes!!!
[2.6.2011 20:42:09] graffist448: is that true?
[2.6.2011 20:42:11] Gorodeckyj: yes
[2.6.2011 20:42:13] graffist448: don't take my word for it
[2.6.2011 20:42:58] Gorodeckyj: it is true, it is all what my thoughts last few days were about
[2.6.2011 20:43:05] graffist448: lol
[2.6.2011 20:43:07] graffist448: I've been there too
[2.6.2011 20:43:11] graffist448: awesome
[2.6.2011 20:43:27] graffist448: so what's changed before and after you saw this?
[2.6.2011 20:44:08] Gorodeckyj: I am still thinking about me about I
[2.6.2011 20:44:35] Gorodeckyj: is that wrong?
[2.6.2011 20:45:22] Gorodeckyj: before was all my life all my dreams all my desires all my fears
[2.6.2011 20:45:48] Gorodeckyj: after I still watch my body what is doing without my decisions
[2.6.2011 20:55:06] Gorodeckyj: I know its true. I dont exist. I dont see me anywhere. Shocking is, that I was never really needed. Body, thoughts and mind can do all things, even most difficult without ME. There is nobody deciding, decisions are made automatically from past experiences. Life could be easy flowing.
[2.6.2011 20:57:56] Gorodeckyj: There is knowing that I doesnt refer to anything real. There is seeing and watching but I is not seen anywhere.
[2.6.2011 20:59:16] graffist448: YES YES YES
[2.6.2011 20:59:19] graffist448: excellent
[2.6.2011 20:59:21] graffist448: you got it
[2.6.2011 20:59:28] graffist448: without a doubt
[2.6.2011 20:59:30] graffist448: you got it
[2.6.2011 20:59:33] graffist448: awesome
[2.6.2011 20:59:44] Gorodeckyj: "I" dont think so 
[2.6.2011 20:59:50] graffist448: whys that?
[2.6.2011 20:59:51] graffist448: haha
[2.6.2011 20:59:54] Gorodeckyj: there is no feelling
[2.6.2011 21:00:02] Gorodeckyj: no shift
[2.6.2011 21:00:05] graffist448: there never would have been
[2.6.2011 21:00:08] graffist448: its just a knowing
[2.6.2011 21:00:14] Gorodeckyj: no pleasure no joy
[2.6.2011 21:00:19] graffist448: ohh
[2.6.2011 21:00:25] Gorodeckyj: just smile
[2.6.2011 21:00:43] graffist448: just keep focusing on the void that is 'you'
[2.6.2011 21:00:48] graffist448: and enjoy being
[2.6.2011 21:00:52] graffist448: accept what is
[2.6.2011 21:00:57] graffist448: because thats all there is
[2.6.2011 21:01:12] Gorodeckyj: there is big smile
[2.6.2011 21:01:19] graffist448: =D
[2.6.2011 21:01:45] Gorodeckyj: what was your feeling when "you" got it?
[2.6.2011 21:02:06] Gorodeckyj: "your" feeling when "you" got it?
[2.6.2011 21:02:06] graffist448: peace
[2.6.2011 21:02:11] graffist448: stillness
[2.6.2011 21:02:34] graffist448: after a few days I'd get anxious
[2.6.2011 21:02:35] Gorodeckyj: would be nice
[2.6.2011 21:02:37] graffist448: freak out
[2.6.2011 21:02:41] graffist448: but then
[2.6.2011 21:02:48] graffist448: I'd refocus on 'no you'
[2.6.2011 21:02:55] graffist448: and the peace would come back
[2.6.2011 21:03:28] Gorodeckyj: Is this really it? What if "I" am only on the edge?
[2.6.2011 21:03:30] graffist448: its something to do when you have nothing else to do
[2.6.2011 21:03:47] graffist448: I don't understand
[2.6.2011 21:04:01] graffist448: I'm really, sorry. I have to go
[2.6.2011 21:04:07] Gorodeckyj: 
[2.6.2011 21:04:19] graffist448: download 'eckhart Tolle' Power of Now
[2.6.2011 21:04:36] graffist448: you will really see what I mean
[2.6.2011 21:04:46] Gorodeckyj: I already read it
[2.6.2011 21:04:50] graffist448: there has been times when I nearly cried because I was so full of peace
[2.6.2011 21:04:53] graffist448: so complete
[2.6.2011 21:05:04] graffist448: there is nothing more but just seeing
[2.6.2011 21:05:05] graffist448: more knowing
[2.6.2011 21:05:12] graffist448: of what is now
[2.6.2011 21:05:14] graffist448: seeing it now
[2.6.2011 21:05:27] graffist448: just like you realized there is just thoughts, just awareness, just movement
[2.6.2011 21:05:47] graffist448: eventually you'll simply feel like your basking away in the flow of existence
[2.6.2011 21:06:10] graffist448: if your chasing the good feeling you'll be resisting it at the same time
[2.6.2011 21:06:12] graffist448: just see
[2.6.2011 21:06:30] Gorodeckyj: Does thoughts still talk about YOU? or did thoughts change?
[2.6.2011 21:06:39] graffist448: thoughts will be the same
[2.6.2011 21:06:43] graffist448: but there is now awarness
[2.6.2011 21:06:49] Gorodeckyj: I only see the lie
[2.6.2011 21:07:00] graffist448: you will noticed the pattern of thoughts
[2.6.2011 21:07:03] graffist448: that create the lie
[2.6.2011 21:07:08] Gorodeckyj: but still watch thoughts talking about ME
[2.6.2011 21:07:25] graffist448: when the brain tries to answer the question "who am I?"
[2.6.2011 21:07:38] graffist448: I have to go.. speak soon
[2.6.2011 21:07:44] Gorodeckyj: ok, thank you very much